Day 4/5 "Dear MBC"

 October 4/5, 2021

Dear MBC,

It’s #Monslay! I was up early working and tried to eat but legit couldn’t eat anything without gagging or running to the bathroom to try and throw up. Not sure what that was about as that’s never happened. I was able to eat a few pizza corners for lunch and drink some Ensure Clear. FYI... it’s a gray day.

It’s now Tuesday. It's another gray day. Nice and cozy. I don’t know what’s up… but I still can’t eat much without getting really disgusted or vomity-like. My coffee today did taste a tiny better. I worked and recorded some Marco Polo’s. I cried a little. I’m missing a wedding I really want to go to but due to Corona and the cancer spreading I’m unable to. To say I’m disappointed would be an understatement. Just bringing it up makes me cry. 

Oh! I wore my “Fu*# Cancer” hoodie I gifted myself today from Grunt Style. It’s a business run by Veterans. Their products support the Armed Forces, first responders, etc. The hoody is sooo comfy and cute. 

More later. My ride (my dad) is here for acupuncture………………………………………….

Ok back. Lunch was super frustrating today. I  tried three different foods and all were nastified! I so don’t likes this part of you MBC. My soup tasted like spicy pepper. It was chicken and rice. Nothing spicy about that! My leftover pizza tasted like wet cardboard and the maple cinnamon oatmeal tasted like a stick of melted butter! *scratching head* The lack of food is making me moody and isn’t helping with my fatigue. I will try again to eat something in a bit.

Update… still meh with food but I did just make a cup of hot cocoa. Yes. There is whipped cream. It’s reminding me of my elementary school days when I was a crossing guard. On cold winter days Mr Tesnow would have styrofoam cups of cocoa waiting for us in the cafeteria when we returned from our morning crossing guard duties. 

Some days are just basic. This is a basic day. Ok the hot chocolate is upsetting my stomach. Maybe that’s a hint for me to start winding down night with a shower and maybe a mask.

But first three things I'm grateful for today:

1. My parents

2. My acupuncture session

3. My coffee tasting more like it should

Good night!

Sincerely,

Jess