Day 26: "Dear MBC"

 October 26, 2021

Dear MBC,

It’s Tuesday but it feels like Thursday. I’m not sure why. I’m a bit fatigued MBC. I exude a lot of energy but I’m really just tired. I’m still not sleeping too well at night. I’m still waking up in hot sweats. I worked this morning and treated myself to a nutella latte AFTER I had my own coffee at home. I also picked up some medication and had an appointment. 

Meantime, all the food I’ve tried to eat tastes not great but not awful. The butternut squash soup I loved the other day was nastified today. Same goes with my hummus and veggies and Eggos. The egg salad I loved over the weekend… not so good today. Nothing tastes normal.

What was normal today? For a brief moment I felt like my old self. I felt like my pre-cancer self. It was a fleeting moment. I had my nutella latte in my hand was walking to get my prescription. I felt good! I felt energized. I felt normal. It was really weird! Then it was gone. It’s a moment I’m grateful for today. I keep trying to figure out what sparked that feeling. I just don’t know. Maybe it was because for the first time in a year I wasn’t wearing sneakers. I had put on my knee high black boots! I was excited they fit because I’ve lost so much weight. I didn’t know if my feet had shrunk too! LOL The boots fit though and maybe that’s what made me feel normal. 

Speaking of my weight… don’t worry I am eating. I am currently munching on the veggies and hummus that taste weird. I also have some cheese handy. Oh wait… it’s been 10 minutes and I’m having some BarkThins. See! I’m eating.

I’m finding if I sit with my legs crossed my joints are really sore. That’s just a random thing I’ve noticed today. 

That’s all I have for now. You’ve been pretty decent to me MBC so far this week. I can’t really complain. Till tomorrow.

Sincerely,

Jessica