Time for a Changeup

Get ready team!  There’s a changeup. First off, I hope this finds you all well. I know the weather has been wacky. It’s kinda representative of my past couple weeks and today. 

But first, grab your popcorn and sit in the stands cause this changeup on the field includes a new team member. Cancer Crushers now has a new radiation oncologist! Yes, you heard right. Radiation is now part of my treatment… and not just radiation to one spot… to my whole brain! Womp! Womp!

Let’s back track a bit to catch you up. I completed cycle two of my chemo cocktail and wasn’t feeling great. I still have some side effects and no appetite and not much taste. I alerted my oncology nurse who set me up for an IV infusion of fluids. I am not a fan of going to oncology triage. It usually means I’ll be admitted. However, I knew I was not feeling good and needed fluids. Listen to your body. Always listen to your body and be your own advocate… even if you don’t want to. Good news! I wasn’t admitted and the IV infusion helped. However, I had severe anxiety during the whole few hour process and that is never very fun. My oncology team took me off my chemo cocktail. I’m still not feeling great but they wanted my GI system to recover. So did I. It was a mess.

Last week I had a brain MRI… a follow up to my gamma knife procedure back in September. It was a mixed bag of news. The good news is the original tumor stayed the same and the tiny other 2 original lesions couldn’t be seen. Yay! The bad news is that the 7 existing ones got a tiny larger and there were at least 8 more NEW small lesions. Good grief! Not the best news but not the worst. So that brings me to today… where I’m getting ready to start whole brain radiation. My mask is made and my scan is ready for mapping. To say I’m not freaked out would be a lie. I am. I mean who wouldn’t be. I have to take Alzheimer’s meds while undergoing the radiation! I mean who thinks about memory loss and dementia at 45?! Not very many people I hope. I am hopeful the meds will delay or prevent any cognitive issues. I’m ready to pick up the bat and start swinging again. Round another base and get waved onto the next base.

That brings me to this upcoming week. I have four hours of scans for the rest of my body. Chemo will be changing and these scans will show if there’s any progression or if things are stable. Whatever the results reveal can alter your path in a monumental way. Just know that I will keep swinging and round the bases till I make it home.

When Taste Buds Turn into Taste Duds

Food. It’s something we all eat. Some of us structure our meals around work. Others of us cook weekly meals or use Blue Apron. It’s gives us fuel and sometimes joy… but what if you weren’t able to taste those delicious meals. I’m one of hundreds, if not thousands, of people battling cancer who have lost their ability to taste. It happened in 2016 but not like this. This time around it’s just gone… and has been since September. I watch as my parents eat and enjoy lunch and see them watch me with worry as I nibble, like a mouse, on what’s on my plate. “Eat toast and rice,” people suggest. It tastes like wet sand and is hard to swallow! Most of the food I eat tastes like cardboard or just bad. I guess I do taste… something. LOL Smoothies I’m just too tired to make right now. I’m more of an open the bottle and drink kinda gal. 

I’ve lost a good amount of weight and eating and drinking fluids is important. It’s just a struggle bus for me. I have no appetite and that doesn’t help either. It’s just hard to do what comes so naturally for most people… eat. Tomato soup is forever ruined for me. I threw it up a few weeks ago and just can’t imagine eating it again. The lack of taste has just gotten worse with this new, every single day, chemo cocktail. Hopefully, once we figure out adjustments I’ll do better with food. Who knows. That’s what the cancer coaster is like. One day you can feel a bit “normal” and the next like an alien who fell out of his space ship.

I guess the moral of this little blog entry is to enjoy your food. You never know when your taste buds will turn into taste duds.