Hi friends! I know it’s been a hot second. I’ve been a bit “meh” with this new chemo cocktail. I was up ready to pick up the bat and swing but feel that I just can’t connect with the ball right now. I talk about the cancer coaster a lot. Right now I feel like it has just been off the track. I’m unmotivated, not feeling good due to side effects, not eating much and just overall ….”meh.” However, this chemo is soooooo much better than the last one in terms of how I feel.
I’m a creature of routine. I’m used to the gym, a run, errands, work and music. Now it’s just been a lot of doctors, chemo, acupuncture and work … not in that order and not as routinely… and some days not at all. My body doesn’t quite know what to make of this new chemo! However, I feel like it’s working because that’s the positive in me. I mean third time is a charm right? I just feel a bit lost. So, I tried getting into some sort of routine two weeks ago to get me out of this rut. Baby steps. Always moving forward. It’s okay to take a pause sometimes but you gotta hit “play” at some point.
Stage 4 cancer is marathon. With my battle in 2016 there was an end in sight. I had a certain number of chemo infusions, a certain amount of radiation, surgery and hormone therapy. That was that. There was a finish line. There isn’t a finish line for someone with stage 4 cancer or someone with a chronic illness. You just have to keep running the marathon. You have to accept that some days will be bad, lonely or “meh.” However, you know there will be days that are good and somewhat “normal.” It’s okay if you fall down and lose your spark. Just make sure when you do get back up you rise as a fire!
