Wait. Hope. Pray. Crush!

There’s nothing worse then "scanxiety." Well there is… but you know what I mean. Well…hopefully, you don’t. Today was scan day. Some additional suspicious findings were discovered in a recent MRI so a bone scan and CT was on tap for today. I can’t describe how it feels when you’re going into a day where tests will reveal if your cancer has spread. I am a positive person, but honestly, my sunny disposition was a bit overcast as I walked into the hospital. I just have a feeling. I hope the feeling is wrong.

Loooong story short, CT scan will be happening Monday. I checked in, waited and drank the nastified stuff. Then they were like, “Sorry. You had an allergic reaction to contrast before. You have to do a 13 hour allergy prep before we perform the CT.” My heart sank. There is nothing more frustrating then when something occurs that is completely avoidable. Why was there no phone call prior to the appointment asking if I had a previous reaction?! Why did they wait until AFTER I drank the janky cocktail?! Actually, the concoction wasn’t so bad. It was coffee flavored. However, It did make me feel bad. I was not amused. However, I pulled my big girl pants up and got it settled within 30 minutes… ordered the meds I need and rescheduled the scan. *A shout out to my dad who walked to get them for me.

The good news is that my loooong day ended with my body scan. The body scan is a bit more complex and time consuming so I am glad that is over. Now… I wait. I wait for the results for the bone scan. I wait for my CT. I wait for those results. I wait. I rest. I pray. I hope. Why? Cause this girl is going to crush cancer whatever the scans reveal. 

And the results are ...

Hi friends! How are you? *waving through the screen* It’s been a tiny bit. A week or so… no? At last check I was about to start work, waiting for movers and scheduled for an MRI. 

Well, work has started. Everyone has been great! As we all know, starting a new job can be a tiny overwhelming and exciting. It’s been both. 

The movers came! I’m missing two boxes and they damaged some items. I wish you could see my “not shocked” face, and eye roll, through the computer screen. I also spent my first night at the apartment last night. Furniture has been ordered and today is WiFi/Cable/deliveries day. Yippee! I’m currently writing this from my bed… which looks out to the beautiful Lake Michigan.

I did have my MRI. I finally got my results Friday, along with the long awaited FISH test. As expected, I’m HER2+.   However, the MRI came back with some suspicious lymph node findings. It’s not the best news. I’m hoping it’s nothing but preparing for it’s something. I have a bone scan and CT scan later this month. I also have my pre-op prior to that as well. Things are moving. The cancer coaster keeps going. I'm buckled in and holding on.

I just realized something! There is one month until my double mastectomy! Yes! Get this cancer out. This also means I should probably buy my wedge and some button down tops and comfy bottoms for recovery. I can hopefully test my newly minted WiFi later with some of that shopping.

Overall, my spirits are high. I’m really tired lately… but who wouldn’t be. I’m grateful for my family and friends who have helped so much and been so supportive. I’m grateful for all of you too. While many things are unknown… there are are some things I do know. I know I will conquer this and that I am loved. What more can you ask for? Whatever unknowns you are facing #KeepGoing and know you are #NotAlone.