Find the Fantastic

Happy November everyone! It’s National Gratitude Month! You can thank “Alexa” for that little tidbit.

It’s been a few weeks since I last checked in. I do apologize. I just haven’t been feeling fab. At last check… it was scan time and I was going in for imaging to see if the chemo cocktail is working. They test after Cycle 3. I legit had scanxiety and drove my team coo coo for cocoa puffs checking in for results. I really wanted them before Cycle 4 and before the weekend. Pretty much 48 hours. So something to be grateful for during this National Gratitude Month… scans came back good! Nodules, lymph nodes and tumor either remained the same or shrunk a tiny bit (brain tumor scan is in December). No further cancer had spread! I burst into tears as I read the results out loud to my parents. It had been a stressful week. Besides the scans, I had been extremely irritable. I had started acupuncture in hopes of finding a new way to deal with the side effects of chemo. I had come back from a session just very irritable. If you know me, you know I’m not easily irritable. However, between the chemo and steroids… lack of taste and impending scans… I was a bit of a grouch. I’ve been a bit more stable, in terms of emotions, since then. Cycle 5 is around the corner. After Cycle 6 I’ll have more scans and possibly more chemo. 

In the meantime, I’ve been working from home when I can. Speaking of which… I realized it’ll be the second consecutive Presidential election I’ll be undergoing cancer treatment during. In 2016 I voted before chemo. Weird, huh?! I’m also a bit sad I’ll be missing another Presidential election at work. Cancer kinda crushed that experience. However, there ARE things to be grateful for. 

1. Zen Time I’ve been trying to zen out in the morning before starting my day and getting out of bed. I’m grateful for the influencers on YouTube that start my day off in a “cozy and quiet” way.
2. My Cozy Bed I am grateful I’m in my bed and not a hospital bed. While I may not be healthy, I am mobile and Coronavirus free.
3. My Family and Friends for which are always there for me and cheering me on. You are part of this journey and I am grateful for all of you… especially my parents.
4. Work Thousands are unemployed right now or furloughed. While I may not be there physically, I am grateful for my job and my work family. They have allowed me to both focus on my health and be a contributive part of the team.
5. Good Scans I am grateful for the scans to come back as good as possible. I know I have many, many more scans ahead of me. They may not always come back “good.” So, I am grateful that my treatment remains the same and nothing has spread. 

I’m sure there are things things you are grateful for as well. It’s been a challenging year for us all. Take a moment to think of one thing you are thankful for in your life… at this very moment. Carry that with you throughout the day/night. While things are uncertain, that one thing you’ve thought of IS certain. Every leaf is a flower. Every storm has a rainbow. You may not see it but it is there. Find the fantastic.