The Cancer Coaster Returns-Chemo #1

The cancer journey isn’t always as straight forward as a baseball game. You’re not always rounding the bases to get to home plate. Sometimes you have to step off the field and go ride the cancer coaster. If you went with me on my first cancer journey, in 2016, I spoke a lot about the cancer coaster.  Well, that’s what I went on and had to ride again. It pulled into the gate and I buckled up. Chemo. Cycle 1. 

My first infusion is long and normal. I was a bit worried as my first time around I had chemo weekly. Weekly means a lower dose. This time around I am going for Taxotere, Herceptin and Perjeta infusions every three weeks… which means stronger and larger doses. 

I felt just really tired the first night. I went into work Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Yay JZ! However, you know those horror movies where monsters grow out of your forehead? Well, that’s what my head felt like Wednesday and Thursday. I also had extreme bone pain and was losing my taste. Those side effects are familiar friends which are just not fun. The other friend who returned to say, “Hi!” was the acne rash. It's just horrifying to look at. Think of your worst breakout as a teen and multiply that by three! Can you picture it? Yup, that was me. That Friday I woke up unable to move and miserable. I called out. For those of you who know me, I like to work. I am not a fan of resting. My goal was to be at work on September 1 for the launch of “News Nation.” That didn’t happen.

Why? Well it all began with what I thought was a UTI. TMI? Oh well. This is what life fighting cancer is like. It’s a side effect and I thought I had one. I worked Monday night but spiked a 100.3 fever. I updated my team and I went in last Tuesday (8/25) to give a urine sample. I went home and legit 20 minutes later they wanted me to come back into oncology triage. The cancer train goes in reverse. Ok. Honestly, I knew that this likely meant an overnight stay. This happened to me at Sloan Kettering. If you ever want to get a good perspective of your health go to an ER or triage area. You see people way worse than you and you go, “Ok. I’m doing ok considering…”  So, triage team thinks I may have appendicitis! Insert my famous eye roll here as the cancer coaster hangs upside down mid-loop. Really? It can't just be a UTI?! I’m wheeled into the scariest ER ever with the most nastified bathrooms... ever. Like I thought the guy next to me was dead! I legit threw out my Nike’s as the bathroom floor was so gross! The coaster hangs for a few hours as I await a CT. Long story short it’s not appendicitis. Everyone yells, “Yay!” I go “Meh.” I kinda wished it was. Getting your appendix removed is an “easy” procedure. You know the recovery. I come down from the loop and am told it’s a common chemo related infection called Neutropenic Enterocolitis. The next five days sucked. That’s how I sum up my 5 day hospital stay. Sucky. I puked. I pooped. I had neuropathy. I was dizzy. I was miserable. I was weak.  A big shoutout to all of you who cheered me on and a BIG thank you to my parents. I would not have survived without them. My parents are the real heroes in this story. The whipping roller coaster slows down and I am finally released from the hospital late Monday.

Tuesday was Sept 1. There was no way I was able to go in. I sobbed at least four times that day. I was missing television's version of Broadway’s Opening Night. I want to pull the break on the cancer coaster here. A massive, "Thank you," to my News Nation family who went above and beyond to make me feel included on this special day for the team. You have all been so supportive and loving and I am so very grateful and appreciative for every text, Team’s message, and lovely flowers. I know some of you are reading this. Thank you.

The rest of the week was a blur. It was full of puking and appointments. I felt like absolute garbage. My mouth sores went away but were replaced with Sahara Desert dryness. I couldn’t sleep. I found out my cancer had spread to another part of my body. More on that in another blog. However, please know the treatment is 95% effective and the tumor tiny. 

I wrote this post in my mind over 4 days as I was too tired to type. Today is the day before cycle #2 of my cancer kicking cocktail. I still feel fatigued but less garbage-like today. I’m resting and enjoying being able to type this out before putting the computer back down and shutting my eyes. The brake on the cancer coaster is released and my car pulls into the gate. I get off and pick up my bat. Gotta gather strength and step back into the batting cages and swing.