Waves

It’s after 9pm on Friday and I’m in bed crying. It just kind of slowly hit me… like dark clouds moving over Lake Michigan… bringing rain. Though, in my case, it’s tears. I had just been laying in bed trying to fall asleep. I worked a lot more hours than usual this week. I am tired. It’s been 48 hours of sad news. Maybe the tears were for those in Surfside, Florida. I can only imagine what the last two days have been like for the first responders… community… those who have lost or don’t know if their loved one is alive or dead… those who have lost their homes. 

It could also just be the cancer coaster. Like waves rolling onto the beach in Surfside sometimes the ripple turns into a current that crashes into a wave of emotion. I just laid in bed crying… hugging my stuffed dog. Maybe the tears were for a past life I mourn. Maybe the tears were for a future that will likely be shortened. I honestly don’t know.

I had been watching (in bed) Carrie Hope Fletcher sing “Far Too Late” from Andrew Lloyd Webber’s new musical Cinderella. I found Carrie after stumbling across her YouTube channel nine years ago. She was singing a song she wrote called, “Why can’t I be a Disney princess?” Fast forward nine years and she’s a lead in a new West End musical. The song, “Far Too Late,” is stunning and maybe the lyrics resonate with me…

“Far too late to sing a love song.”

“You’re in someone else’s arms.”

“Far too late for second-guessing.”

“My chance is gone”

Yes, I know she’s singing about a prince. LOL It’s just such a beautifully written song. 

I know it’s not too late for me and that I have chances. Every day I wake up is a chance. A chance to sing a love song. A chance to second guess. A chance to live. A chance to love. A chance to cry. 

Sometimes your body just needs that emotional release. I didn’t cry long. I’m not one to sit and sob. However, sometimes you have to remember the journey you’re on and just keep moving forward and not look back. Like waves in Lake Michigan… like the waves off the coast of Surfside, Florida… they hit hard. They can catch you by surprise and can knock you down. You just have to keep going. I just have to keep going. I will.